24 Things To Do Before Staying Single At 24 Even Though I’m Like A Month From 25

You Only Live Once but you’ll probably be married lots of times.

1) Dance like no one is watching.

2) Dance like one guy is watching but he’s only half into it.  He probably has a lot on his mind.

3) Don’t be hurt by someone who doesn’t have your permission to hurt you.

4) Don’t give people permission to hurt you.  It can’t end well.

5) Eat nothing but Nutella for a week straight.

6) Start a new job and quit on the first day.

7) Heckle a couple during their wedding.

8) Turn a week out of the country into years of condescension and smugness.

9) Date someone with a learning disability.

10) Spend 24 hours only doing things described in Ke$ha songs.

11) Be really offended that someone got married earlier than you.

12) Only read books you can buy in an airport.

13) Stop answering to your name for a week.

14) Discover yourself but don’t tell anyone what you found.  They gotta work for it.

15) Get drunk in a government building.

16) Date two people at the same time and see who you hurt worse, because you’re probably a sociopath.

17) Laugh, but in that special way married people can’t.

18) Close your eyes and throw a dart at a map.  Wherever it lands you can never visit.

19) Choose the god that’s hardest to pronounce.

20) Make $120,000 a year.

21) Journal for one day, forget about it, then tell everyone how “cleansing” it is.

22) Fake your own death.

23) Spoil Breaking Bad for someone.

24) Go six months without changing your oil.